My Side of the Story

It started over 16 years ago. I hadn't taken the job in Anchorage yet. Mom asked me what she should do with the Persinger property. I told her I didn't know what to do with it, it was her decision. I suggested giving to her grandchildren. Frank was living in Craig and looked like it would be there forever, though he did eventually move back to Fairbanks. Susan lived in California and most likely would never move back to Alaska. She and Rick attempted to live in Alaska. They build a home in Tok, but there were no jobs and it was too cold for Rick. At the time, I was not planning on retiring in Fairbanks and if I did it would be Birch Lake. Therefore, I thought the grandkids would benefit most from the property.

A few days later, I stopped by to see Mom, and she was in tears. The gist of what happened was she had brought up my suggestion, of what to do with the property, with Susan (during a phone conversation). Susan had told her that she had only one "true" grandchild and that was her daughter, D'Lila. Mom was extremely upset and crying that Cody and Renee were also her grandchildren. It upset me too but I did not believe Susan would say such a thing. Mom has always been a bit manipulative, though I had no idea what she was attempting manipulate. Other than pitting Susan and I against each other which she has done to get something she wanted. I dismissed the entire incident. About this time during a conversation with Susan, she told me that Frank told her that he was going to Will everything to D'Lila. Sadly, I never connected these two events.

When I moved to Anchorage and mom was going into the Pioneer home, she gave me a piece of paper and told me, "This is yours." I looked at it and saw that it was a quick claim deed. I protested and told her I didn't want it. She said, "It is yours now. Do what you want." I tucked it away and gave it no more thought. When I actually read the deed 16 years later (last spring), I realized it made me a co-owner of the Persinger property. A decision mom made without any influence from me (Remember I suggested giving it to the grandkids. That was my last suggestion.) or Frank who was living with her at the time.

The last summer mother was in Fairbanks, I got a request to come into the Denali Bank on Wilbur Street. It was two blocks from my mother's apartment. The manager was extremely concerned because my brother had been bringing mother into the back and withdrawing money from her savings account. It had reached the point that there was no money in the savings account. Now he was coming in the first of every month with one of my mother's checks and she was afraid my mother did not have enough money to live on each month. I brought her a copy of my mother's Power of Attorney to me and told her to longer accept any withdrawals made by my brother. My mother was now living on her monthly retirement income of $3200. Her savings account was empty. Years later, I learned from her Will that she believed she had $10,000 in her savings account. I think this is what Frank used as a down payment on his condo or he just spent it.

I got a frantic telephone call the next spring from Frank telling me that mom's landlords (Gary & Shirley Nash) had t mom  create a will making them the executors of her estate. I was totally baffled over why they would take it upon themselves to do such a thing. They did not like me for several reasons. (1) They felt we were taking advantage of my mother. (2) I told them that their son-in-law was selling marijuana and their youngest son was smoking it in their garage. Was that reason enough to make themselves mom's executors? During this time my sister told me she talked to the Nash's every weekend and I asked her to intercede and help me mend my relationship with them.

Shortly after that conversation with Frank, Randy called me. Nash's oldest son showed up at the Persinger house to inspect it. He told Randy he was thinking about purchasing it. This was the first we heard about it being for sale. I decided to take the quick claim deed mother gave me and file it. The land could not be sold without my permission being as my mother made me co-owner.

That summer my mother and I sat down and, using the Nash's Will as a template,  we discussed exactly what she wanted and wrote it down. Reading over the Nash's Will, I noticed that I was acknowledged as an offspring but everything was left to Frank and Susan. I know this was not mother's decision. She would never do anything like that. Maybe she decided she had already given me part of the property, so everything else could go to them. Except, the will said only they would get the property. Obviously, someone did not know about my mother's quick claim deed.

Months later, Frank took mother to a lawyer and he and my mother created another Will.  My understanding is that the lawyer took mother into his office and they wrote it without anyone's influence. I never knew what was in this Will until later.

Each time I visited my mother in the Pioneer home, she was sound asleep and was very difficult to wake. During the summer of 2001, the Pioneer Home decided, without my input, to move my mother into the Alzheimer's wing of the home. The first time I visited her that summer, she was not dressed. I started to dress her and discovered she had no underwear or socks in her drawers. When asked about it, I was told they were in the wash. I also notice her TV was not connected and asked that it be connected. Twice more that summer when I visited my mother she had no underwear or socks in her drawer. Each time I was told they were in the wash and her TV was never connected. Then I was informed that the Alzheimer's wing was more expensive and mother's month income was no longer covering it. I put in for state assistance. I was informed that anything she owned in the last three years had to be sold or reimbursed to her before she could get assistance. Being as my mother filed the quick claim deed in 1998 and this was 2002, the Persinger property was not in danger. What was in danger was my brother's condo and my mother's van he sold. I made the decision that the treatment my mother was receiving at the Pioneer Home did not deserve the charges my mother was paying, so in October I drove to Fairbanks and removed my mother from the Pioneer Home and moved her in with my family. When we cleaned out her room, we found her carry-on suitcase inside her checked suitcase at the back of the top shelf of her closet. Inside that carry-on was all of her underwear and socks. I also learned from one of the nurses at the Home that she was being sedated by another nurse because she was "difficult to handle". It happened before and after she was sent to the Alzheimer's wing. A doctor told me later that sedating people who have dementia or Alzheimer sped up the deterioration of her mind.

About this time, Susan decided that she and Rick were going to move to Tok, AK in 2007 and build their retirement home. That timetable was moved up and they moved to Tok in 2005 and started building their home. The fall of 2004 I bought a trailer and had Randy buy a larger truck to tow it. My intent was to offer it to my sister as a place to live while they built their house. I did not want her to know this was the reason so I told her we needed someplace comfortable for my mother to stay when we went camping. Susan slept in it the entire summer and into late fall. I never went camping with the trailer because we put it up for sale when we got it back.

Mother's income was $3200 per month. $3000 went toward Anchor Rides and Adult Daycare. I was saving $200 per month to cover incidentals (prescriptions, diapers, etc.) The beginning of October Susan was going to come get mother and move her to Tok to live with Susan and Rick. I told her she would be paid the $3000 to take care of her. The same amount being paid for Anchor Rides and Adult Daycare. Susan now claims that I wanted to keep that amount and pay them the $200/month. This is not true. I got no money for taking care of my mother. The majority of her income paid for her transportation and care while we were at work. I knew Susan was in a tight place because they made the move two years earlier than planned and they would need the money. It was already being paid out for mother's care so it logically would continue to be paid out for her care.

On September 27, 2005, my mother passed away. She had been wanting this for years and had asked me multiple time to "shoot" her. She never did move in with Susan. I think Susan blames me for my mother passing before she was able to move to Tok with her.

I know this because she angrily told me that they moved two years early and build a bedroom on the ground floor of their house specifically for our mother. This was during a visit to Tok and Susan was attempting to convince me that my mother never intended for me to have the Persinger property.

In 2010, when a tenant moved out of the Persinger property, I was complaining about tenants and Susan offered to rent it for the summer for half of the current mortgage of $800 and upkeep. She was going to school at UAF and would need a place to stay. Wanting someone who cared about the house and to help both of us, I accepted her offer. Susan moved her daughter, D'Lila, and boyfriend into the house with her. They ended up living there for two years at $400/month when I was getting $1200/month from other tenants. This was a total saving for her of $19,200. During this time, she repeatedly hinted at myselling the property to D'Lila at a loss because the house had become worthless. Supposedly during this time she had the furnace completely overhauled and cleaned several times. This fall, when I had it professionally done, I found this to be untrue. I was told it had not been cleaned properly in 6-10 years. Susan also said the refrigerator needed to be replaced and she purchased a new one. When they moved out, they took it so in essence nothing was done to upkeep the building and they saved enough money for a downpayment on another house. To add to the money they were saving, they grew marijuana in the back yard and basement during a time when it was illegal. If they were caught the house could have been possessed. Obviously, this was not a concern for her.

This brings us to the summer of 2015. I found out Susan was going to be in Fairbanks during the Golden Days events as was I. I had planned to pitch my tent on the Persinger property. I ran into Susan and D'Lila at a nail salon and asked if I could pitch on D'Lila's lawn so I could spend more time with Susan. They very nicely left the back door open so we had a bathroom and shower. Later the next morning, I was sitting on their back porch when I noticed that one of the last two Birch Lake benches (made by my Grandfather Rust) was sitting on the porch. That afternoon I mentioned it to Susan and that I had them in storage on the Persinger property. I told her I was going to ask D'Lila for its return. That night, when I returned, no one was home, all the doors were locked, and the bench was gone. The next morning I asked Susan and she said, "I thought you took it." I waited for D'Lila to return but she went in the front door to avoid me. I knocked on the back door, Chris, her husband, answered, and I asked for the return of the bench. He told me he had no idea what I was talking about. I told him my daughter had seen it and Susan knew about it. He started yelling at me and told me to get off his property immediately. With him yelling and pointing threatening at me, I called him a thief. Towards the end of his tirade, he told me that I had abandoned everything I had stored on my property and they had a right to take it; that they had had it for three years and it was now theirs.

When I checked the storage on the Persinger property, both benches were gone. This means that Susan or D'Lila has the other one. My Grandfather, whom Susan or Frank never met or knew and I had, made six of these benches. When I returned to Alaska in 1989, there were four left. One winter when the cabin was broken into, two of them disappeared. There were only two left and now there is one.

That evening Susan went into a texting tirade about what a selfish money hungry person I am and declared that she and Frank were no longer my siblings and that they disown me. Thankfully, Frank has not done so but Susan is working on him and he may do so one of these days. Sadly during this tirade, she told me that she finally had something to be proud of in Chris, he wasn't the wimp she thought him to be and he stood up to protect D'Lila.

The afternoon I had talked to Susan about the bench, I had brought D'Lila foster/adoption paperwork for the Tanana Chief Conference. Susan informed me that D'Lila had changed her mind about having children. She does not want to adopt. How could she after her mother has been ranting about how adopted children are not "true" grandchildren? D'Lila has decided to become Double Income No Kids people. I found this to not be true when in 2016 I contacted her about adopting twin girls who had not been born yet. She jumped at the opportunity. Then she said Chris said no. Of course, he did. This is a man who spends 90% of his life in front of computers either at work or playing games. Children would put too much of a crimp in his lifestyle. Anyway, Susan brought up how sad this would make her because our mother would have no blood descendants. She was telling me how in medieval times how things were passed down through blood descendants. The light bulb went on and I realized that she had told our mother that my adopted children were not her true descendants. With that, I realized that Susan has always felt that she should have been the one to get the Persinger property.

With that realization, everything began to fall into place. Susan was friends with the Nashes. She got them to write our mother's Will giving everything to her and Frank. Years before she had told me that Frank was giving everything to D'Lila. Is was a good plot except she was unaware that our mother knew what she was attempting to do and had quick claimed the property to me. She even gave it to me when she was alone with her lawyer. I think deep down she knew Susan would never live in Alaska. I think she was aware, deep inside, that Frank had cleaned out her saving account. I believe, even as she was losing her mind, she did exactly what she wanted to do.

I heard today, "Hurt people, hurt people. We need to give them compassion." I also will forgive.